T H O U G H T S

When we suppress our thoughts and feelings, are we doing it for the other person or more for ourselves? Is it our consideration for others or is it us simply unwilling to take a risk, in fear of rejection or disappointment? If it meant that much to us then wouldn’t the risk be worth it, regardless?

Advertisements

Knowledge is power?

dsc_6401-1w
Sunset @ Manly Beach

They teach us that ‘knowledge is power’ (and yes, it is) but I think it’s just as important that we also get taught that it’s okay to not know things, that knowledge is attained through hard work, through learning; for us not to be afraid to accept gaps in our knowledge in order to better ourselves.

Destinations | Monday Mantra

They say that travelling in a straight line is the fastest way to get to your destination – it is. But what happens if there’s a roadblock, a detour, a delay? You deal with it and follow the signs to get back on track, no issues, right? So why can’t we apply that to our lives – our goals? If one path doesn’t lead us there, do we give up on our dreams? Or do we go ahead and find another way to get there? The fastest way may not necessarily be the best and only way to get there.

Posted this as a caption to yesterday’s morning instagram. Who else agrees?

Cliff hangers 

So I’m fairly certain that everyone knows how much I love the water – that is: to be by the ocean, to walk by any body of water, to photograph seascapes/waterscapes/landscapes.  Because of this, you’ll often find me at the beach, by the harbour or strolling down the coastlines of Sydney; by myself (I guess that’s another thing most people know about me – my love for solitude). This past Sunday, I had the pleasure of doing what I usually do, but this time with one of my best mates. It was definitely a wonderful day (but tiring)!

I wasn’t intending to shoot that day, but here are some quick snaps for y’all.

Cheers,

A

dsc01286-1w

Processed with VSCO with k2 preset
He took me to the damn South Coogee Stairs of Death!!! One day I’ll be fit enough to not feel like dying going up them,  one day.
dsc01278-1w
Not sure which one I enjoyed more – the coast or catching up with this guy

Diligence + Perseverance = Luck?

[This has been sitting in my drafts for months now {yes I mean drafts on my previous blog}. So apologies if it’s not as cohesive as my usual posts]

People tend to refer to my situation as ‘lucky’.

  • “You’re lucky you managed to land a job in the industry before you graduated”
  • “You’re lucky you work for a good company”
  • “You’re lucky you scored a permanent role so quickly”
  • “You’re lucky you have your own car, your own place, you’ve been to x, y , z….”

Don’t get me wrong – I am absolutely grateful and undoubtedly blessed.

My issue lies with the fact that none of these things came easy for me. I did not have a job handed over to me on a silver platter.

I have a $60k HECS debt because I chose to fast track my degree and had to go through a private institution for my first year. (as opposed to a typical degree of maybe half of that cost)

I pulled all nighters, lived off coffee, deprived myself of sleep – all of which I did to ensure my grades were maintained at high standards.

Those same grades are what got me to the interview stage for my internship.

The nerves I had on my interview day were inexplicably the worst nerves I’ve ever had (to this day). I sustained a 1 hour-long interview without embarrassing myself.

I scored the 12-month internship.

During these 12 months, I lived the intern life. The lack of confidence. The phase in anyone’s career where you essentially have no credibility. The struggle in transitioning from the university world to professional world. I coped with the stress, I faced my fears. I took the plunge and worked hard to impress everyone. I employed work ethics which my mother taught me. I put 210% of myself into everything I did. I ran to uni every second night after work and attended classes on Saturday – I juggled work and study.

At the end of my internship, not only did I bag 12 months of industry experience, but I got offered a job to stay. I was lucky that my team had room for another FTE. 

I then survived the awkwardness of salary negotiations, only to find out from my sisters that whatever I was getting was actually pretty decent. (Although I would have been happy with the minimum salary to be frank, because I knew nothing about what was ‘good’ and what wasn’t).

I signed the contract and threw myself into the ‘real’ work life. I continued with the balancing act between work and study. I took on more units to decrease the amount of years I’d need to complete my degree. I continued to put 210% of myself into everything I did.

Another 12 months went by and I managed to finish my degree. I was also offered a permanent role in the same team I’ve been working in for the last 2 years. Of course I accepted and again, continued to put 210% of myself into everything I did.

The journey I’ve been on to get to where I am today and achieve the things I’ve done definitely hasn’t been easy. From the outside, it looks like it has all been smooth sailing, but it’s definitely been a challenging roller coaster – this is why I don’t take references to ‘luck’ too lightly.

The one major thing I can attribute to luck would be the fact that I was lucky enough to have hardworking parents who took a risk by migrating to Australia, to give us a better education, a better opportunity. I owe a lot of my achievements to my parents – none of these could’ve been done without their hard work.

Bottom line is that I’m a firm believer that everyone, anyone who works hard will get what they deserve. All the work you put in, eventually will pay off. Let’s not diminish the value of diligence and perseverance by attributing others’ lives to luck, because let’s face it – they couldn’t have gotten to where they are now without putting in the hard yards right?

One year | Looking back

I’ve never posted about this time of my life, with the fear of saying something I might regret; predominantly due to being in the heat of the moment. Considering the time that has passed, I figured it’s time I shared some of my experiences from this, as it is quite a major turning point in my life. It is by no means a re-hash of this particular time, but in order for me to move forward, I need to step back and reflect on what I’ve learned over the last year, reflect on the overall experience rather than the darker parts of this time.

. . .

June 24, 2015; a day I’ll never forget. A day which not only marked the beginning of a rental contract, but a day which signified new beginnings and independence. This time last year, I was a terrified 21 year-old who kicked off the day, business as usual, but ended the day with a rental contract and new keys up my sleeve.

It’s worth calling out at this point that the months prior to moving out were not the best months of my life. I honestly thought that life has gotten to an all-time low and I needed to take control of my life – I needed to find a way to enjoy life again. (Don’t get me wrong, my life wasn’t a complete wreck – I was on track to finishing my degree and had a great job… the emotional/mental aspects of my life however, were not in the best shape.)

When I moved out, I thought that some of the pain I felt would be alleviated considering I’ve physically taken myself out of the situations which triggered it. I never would have thought that the move would merely make it worse, that it would sever ties with those I held close to my heart. Months went by, but I kept trying. I kept pushing my way through the emotional boulder which has lodged itself between me and forgiveness.

At this point, you’re probably wondering what on earth I’ve done and whose fault it was to begin with; and my answer for you is it doesn’t matter.

. . .

I have had quite a treacherous journey in the last 365 days. The emotional stress and hardships I’ve endured over the year have definitely put me to the test; but these are also what has made me the person I am today.  And here are the two key things I can attribute to this particular moment in my life.

Resilience

If I was to tell you what it is I learned the most throughout the last year, it would be resilience. It sounds like an easy concept, ‘the capacity to recover quickly from difficulties’ (Google definition), but it is a tough skill to master. The strength required to pick yourself up from your lowest point is enormous. The ability to carry on with your daily lives (whether it’s work or study or anything else) even with negativity clouding your judgement, consumes all your energy. The need to hide behind a facade of perfectionism even when your world seems to be falling apart becomes taxing.

But you see, the more you go through challenges in life, the more you learn to deal with it. You not only learn how to come to terms with it, but you learn who you become under certain circumstances, which enables you to adjust accordingly.

Bravery

As a person still transitioning into the adult world (otherwise known as ‘adulting’), there have probably been hundreds of new experiences I’ve had to throw myself into – especially if I count all the way back to filling out rental application forms! I used to be an incredibly timid girl however somewhere down the line – maybe (just maybe) the fact that I now live on my own and have nobody else to bail me out on ‘scary’ situations, has forced me to tackle things head on.

Despite the challenges I faced pre and post moving out, I am still extremely proud of the person I was 365 days ago – for being brave enough to give it a go. For being brave enough to face all the uncertainties ahead of me, with some level of certainty that all of it would be at some sort of cost.

. . .

I know I avoided delving into the detail throughout this post – I’m sorry. I wanted to share my insights and what I’ve learned, not re-hash the issue(s) and relive it all over again.

– a.