Finally | A rushed post 

It’s been 29 days into 2017 and I’ve only managed to write a new post now?! {edit: it’s now the end of January, lol}

Yup, I’ve been undisciplined on the blogging front. I apologise. I have no real excuse apart from the fact that I’ve been journaling almost everday since the year began (I’ll do a flipthrough it at some point), so a lot of my ‘drafts’ are actually sitting in there. 

So, what’s new?

On goals

It’s been a difficult yet motivating start to my year because I’ve been working through my goals and aspirations, and there are actually way too many of them. I’ve got to sit down and re-prioritise them all. I’m probably not too comfortable with sharing them with you guys just yet, but I’ll delve in a little deeper in one of the following posts.

On cycling

So this weekend, I finally put an end to my research obsession on bikes (as in literally over the last few months I’ve been googling like crazy about cycling, bikes, cycling laws, etc.). 

Yup, this weekend, I bought a bike! 


My reasons for buying one is no different to most people – it’s a great way to get fit whilst being able to get from point A to point B! I’ve only had Norcz (I’ve officially named it, derived from its brand, Norco Bicycles) for under 48 hours but it has brought me so much happiness already! I mean right now, I’m sitting in Sydney Park drafting this post, and guess how I got here? I rode here! That’s about 8kms (return) that I would have used my car for! I didn’t even have to worry about parking or traffic.



I did some research earlier today, and I may have a route from home to Central station via bicycle paths – how cool would that be?! I have to work on my fitness first though, as well as getting use to riding on major roads… it’s still pretty daunting. I’m sure with more practice, I’ll get there. 

I’m trying to figure out a routine to incorporate riding into my weekdays, not just riding on weekends… I’ll let you know how that goes. I’ve also only bought the bare necessities for riding so over the next few weeks I’ll start buying the following

  • Bike lock 
  • Kickstand
  • Phone handlebar mount
  • Rear light for night riding (I’ve got a helmet that has a built in rear light though, just don’t know if it’ll be strong enough?)

On humans

I’m going through a bit of a rough patch from the people side of things, unfortunately. Over the last few weeks, I’ve come to realise that I have to stop counting on other people. 

It’s frustrating because I’ve spent majority of my adult life independently and as most of you know, a strong preference for solitude. However, in the last year, my loved ones have given me a taste of what it’s like to build your life around others. They’ve taught me how to rely on others – may it be for fun or for serious things. They’ve shown me what it’s like to be someone’s priority. The sad part is that since then, circumstances have changed, and I can no longer count on these same people for my happiness. 

I have come to realise that at the end of the day, it’s me against the world. There’s no such thing as ‘us against the world’ – I know that sounds real cynical (perhaps even vague) but for me it’s true. 

Sorry, I know this is all over the place, I promise my next one will be a better post! I kind of just wanted to get one out there already before the month ended! 

Cheers,

A

Who to surround yourself with

Surround yourself with people who will constantly push you out of the world of complacency. People who will keep you accountable when you have the potential to run away from a difficult situation. People who are willing to chase their dreams at all costs, and without letting others’ opinion of them get in the way. People who make their own paths and not merely following someone else’s. Surround yourself with people who will be there for you even if things don’t go according to plan.

xo

A

2016 has taught me | Question Time

[Quick context: I share a blog with my best friend, S, and it’s filled with random posts about our lives/friendship- may it be inside jokes, differences in opinions, perspective on life, weird things that it seems like only the two of us do… and more recently, we’ve been leaving each other questions for the other to answer. In this particular instance, I left her a relatively difficult question – one that I was going to blog about on here. Here it goes…]

Q: What’s the biggest thing you’ve learnt about yourself in 2016 and why has it made such an impact?

I’d like to start off with the fact that I love solitude. I thrive in my ‘alone time’. I’m one of those people that would rather be out and about by myself than go out with a ‘squad’.

This year, has been significantly different to my previous years. My love for solitude remained but it has made me realise that I am a lot more reliant on my sisters than I’d ever care to admit; and I guess this could be attributed to a series of significant changes or events in 2016.

New Apartment

So with my rent going up at my previous apartment, and P&N wanting to move closer to the city, we collectively decided to move into a 3bdr apartment in the same area as my previous place. This move saves us all a lot of money but still provides us with a brand new apartment, great onsite facilities and close proximity to everything – the city, the station, the beaches, and not too far from mum’s and dad’s.

I didn’t know how bad or how good of a decision this would be in the long run, but it was a decision I didn’t take lightly because of my history with my sister (yeah there were phases in our lives where I wanted to punch her in the face).

I was prepared for the worst case scenarios, but I was not prepared to grow closer or even clingy-er to P. I found myself waiting for her to come home from work, sad whenever our work timings don’t line up (i.e when she leaves early and comes home early but I get home much later so we end up not seeing each other), we coordinated our train times on our way to work, etc. We basically bonded a lot more than I expected.

The sad part hits me when I want to do something with her but she can’t because she’s already made plans with her husband. She tries to include me but sometimes it doesn’t feel like we’re all hanging out, it’s like them and then me?

Touring around the Philippines

So my one and only vacation this year was in the Philippines, with K & C, prior to their wedding. It was an absolute blast and boy am I lucky to have had C with us – he was such an older brother for me and I don’t think I can express my gratitude enough.

My time with them has been amazing, but spending 4 weeks with just the three of us has only made me realise (again, like above) that it was the two of them, plus me.

Whenever we’d do an activity that required two people, it would always be the two of them, and I’d have to do it on my own; which is a stark contrast to how K & I used to be. And like I said, I love doing things by myself – but I guess it’s the feeling it leaves me with that really gets me down.

Wedding

The J wedding was also held in the Philippines so most of what I said in the previous section hold true. The key thing I wanted to say was that the wedding was like the ‘nail to the coffin’ in terms of realising that K, someone whom I was inseparable with at some point in my life, was again, someone I had to let go.

My Maid of Honour speech was pretty truthful and transparent about how I felt.

“After some time, I finally adjusted and acknowledged the fact that I had to share K with someone else – someone who i was willing to share my sister with.”

It signified the end of an era – the end of K & A, but the start of K & C.

Since the wedding, everything has been K & C and very rarely been K & A. And ever since then, I’ve realised how much it’s actually hurt me. I guess I never really realised how much the wedding/marriage would actually impact me and my relationship with her.

Don’t get me wrong. I absolutely love my sisters to death. My love for them has not diminished at all this year. I know they love me and (hopefully) that’ll never change. All I’m saying is that the dynamic between our relationships have changed.

I guess ever since they met their partners, I kind of knew that I no longer played as big of a role in their lives as I used to. But having gone through these things with them this year has re-iterated the fact that I’m only truly realising now, the I’m no longer a priority in their lives – and that I’m only starting to learn to be okay with that now.

I guess as I head into the new year, I’ll be learning more and more about how to come to terms with this? I’ll just go back to my usual solitude ways – without relying on my sisters for my happiness.

[God, I started this draft over 4 weeks ago… only managed to finish it today, on the last day of the year. Actually, to be completely honest, I had to force myself to finish it today. I have no excuses, but I really had to rush the rest of this post. I’m sorry!]

Happy new year, WPers!

xo

A

When your passion and career are not synonymous 

As some of you may know, I work the 9 to 5 job in the IT function of the Finance industry. I’ve been in my current role for the last three years, and can confidently say that I love my job. (yes, despite the many instances where I’ve wanted to pull my hair out, punch a wall or just had enough working long hours {yes, outside the ‘9 to 5’} and weekends)

I love my day job and I want to further my career in the IT world. 

BUT I also love my creative passions: photography and graphics/illustrations. 


This year, more than any other year, I’ve noticed my passion grow stronger. How do I know this? Well my day job has been excruciatingly more demanding this year, however, majority of my time outside the office is spent on these passions. That is – coming home from exhausting days at work and still sitting down to draw or making a detour on my way home from the office to squeeze in a quick shoot. I basically sacrifice rest time to focus on these. 

I’ve invested a lot of time (and some money) learning and building on my skills in both areas, to further improve the quality of my work. Hours and hours are spent on YouTube, SkillShare, Lynda, etc., doing online courses to learn more technical or theoretical skills. After which an equal amount of time is spent actually practicing the things I’ve learnt- may it be going out for a shoot, drawing on the train or playing around in Photoshop or Illustrator.

Over the last 6 months, I’ve had a surge in inspiration and motivation to actually pursue my creative passions. I’m not saying I want to drop my day job, but God, wouldn’t it be great if I could actually monetise some of my work? I mean I do shell out a lot on equipment to help me further my skills after all. Just recently, a good friend of mine just started a photography business with her friend, and I was both proud of her and also motivated by her. I too want to have digital business in the future – digital work ranging from photography to design/illustrations, and maybe even incorporate my IT background in there (perhaps web dev or ux design?). 

It’s probably too early to make promises or commitments about my plans around this space, but I think about all this quite often. I have a lot to figure out before I can kick this off – one of which is confidence. I need to work on believing in myself, that I can actually do this. On the same token, I also need to figure out how this ‘dream’ of mine fits into my overall career path – what if I want to go back to uni for further study? Will I have enough time to work, study AND run some sort of business on the side? 

As you can see, I’ve got a lot of uncertainties but it doesn’t hurt to have this out here and serve as a reminder of an aspect of my life that I hope to be able to integrate more into my daily life. 

I’ll keep you guys posted on this, if and when I have progress!

[p.s. I still do photography gigs here and there – that’s not likely to change at this point… what I’m referring more to in this post is at a larger scale and more frequent gigs] 
xx

A

T H O U G H T S

When we suppress our thoughts and feelings, are we doing it for the other person or more for ourselves? Is it our consideration for others or is it us simply unwilling to take a risk, in fear of rejection or disappointment? If it meant that much to us then wouldn’t the risk be worth it, regardless?

Knowledge is power?

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Sunset @ Manly Beach

They teach us that ‘knowledge is power’ (and yes, it is) but I think it’s just as important that we also get taught that it’s okay to not know things, that knowledge is attained through hard work, through learning; for us not to be afraid to accept gaps in our knowledge in order to better ourselves.

Destinations | Monday Mantra

They say that travelling in a straight line is the fastest way to get to your destination – it is. But what happens if there’s a roadblock, a detour, a delay? You deal with it and follow the signs to get back on track, no issues, right? So why can’t we apply that to our lives – our goals? If one path doesn’t lead us there, do we give up on our dreams? Or do we go ahead and find another way to get there? The fastest way may not necessarily be the best and only way to get there.

Posted this as a caption to yesterday’s morning instagram. Who else agrees?